so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
