let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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