FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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