Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
