I'd wear matching sweaters with you
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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