The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
