FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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