I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Randomize
