Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
