Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
