My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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