but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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