i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
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