I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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