he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
