I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
