I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize