I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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