Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
