last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
