Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
