Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Randomize
