i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
one might say we're banned from that church
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
