Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
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