i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
