i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
The air taste purple.
Randomize
