That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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