That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
