She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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