god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
