fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
