i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
NoShamevember. You game?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Randomize
