he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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