Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
