why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
