Ambien. No doubt about it.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
