I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Randomize
