Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
