Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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