Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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