I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
