i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
