You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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