It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
