check it out our google latitudes are spooning
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize