Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
