At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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