So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I love you.
Bad choice
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize