you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
