You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
