Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Randomize
