just come out here and I will go home with you...
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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