The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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