Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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