Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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