There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
