I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
