Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
