worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
