New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
