3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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